a simple day...

woke up late... enjoying my sleep...
irah called in the morning saying tmr there's a meeting so need to there by 7am.
haiz so early... yawns!
den i happily had breakfast n use my bro's laptop n woke him up.. haha!
bro losing weight now, so sad to see him so tired these days
but i know he's happy.. got a new-found gf.. i hope this one last! *smiles*
i was prancing ard the hse, not knowning wat to do...
"Ahhh... a great day.. take it slow n easy Izan..."

watch my fav show on weekday, "Ambush makeover"
den took a bath....
did my laundry... sweep the hse... clear abit of my rm... make my bed... wash the dishes...
ahhhh... im satisfied!!
den bro left me to go to his gym, if only im as discipline as him to go gym...
my doc advise me to exercise n eat healthily... i wonder how to do tt...
left me with no choice, i hv to do tt if i dun wan my condition to deteriorate further...
i dun wanna think of bad stuff rite now...

sis came back... told me she fought with her teacher...
her teacher confisticate her ezlink card, she quarrel cos she needs it to go orchard wif me, n tt it aint easy for me to get a off today to spent time wif her...
awwww.... so touched by her! but she's still enraged over it, to think she actually shouted at her pregnant teacher! see now she felt bad... nvm, i'll treat her kfc later
she gets so mad when i told her i cant go orchard afterall cos i gt class tonite!

i was supposed to meet esli also today but cant cos spending time wif sis. she having probs too.. some gal actually wrote a counter-attack based on a entry she wrote... haiz, i really dunno. some pple r so sensitive, but they hv the right to say wat they want. jus forget it la! aint worth time to be affected by such stuff.

tmr... class gathering at glass hse fish & co. work's gathering and also ir's fren bday at fullerton.
im in dilemma, dunno which to go... if can all i wanna go
aint got the money... maybe dun go for all!
but lets see how tmr goes!

sick? stress? crazy?

im broke!
i need money for transportation n food..
i can deal with wearing same old clothes
i need to pay my debts, my tons of outstanding bills n return tt NKF donation cards real quick
i havent been in gd health lately
having headaches n feeling sick lately but no one can see it...

im been bloated the past few weeks, no idea but i jus keep silent
i started bleeding again... like previously... got me so scared again
plz plz dun tell me i needed surgery
wats happening to my health??

alot of things on my mind..
some things r best to be kept alone
such a burden i carry everywhere i go yet i hv to appear happy wif everybody
deep inside, im so scared n lonely...
i wonder wat happens to me next

no matter wat.. i tell myself..
i need to b strong n i cant be selfish to let others worry bout me
i do all i can to make myself happy...
dun ask me anything cos i'll say, "im fine"

rollercoaster of emotions!

in less than 48hrs, i been thru so many emotions!
yest was great, ir came over to bring me lunch, thereafter irah's bf gave me a ride to the bustop right inside to get to Ir's place. So i went over to him place jus to spend additional time with him n he cooked for me tempura. After tt, i quickly rush n took cab to bedok[ir's treat] to catch a movie with mum, dad n sis. den ir left fm there to bk-in at boon lay...

the movie was great. FANTASTIC n E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N-I-N-G!!!
VERY Hilarious n scary...
great everyone shd watch it provided u understand mly la... its 'Pontianak Mengerit'
haha.. i love the movie... my fav now!!
makes me jump out of my seat n scream out loud n laugh out so hard!! hahhahaa
i was feeling kinda sick when eating popcorn, drink ice lemon tea n laughing n screaming at the same time!! i tahan to go toilet till the end cos i dun wanna miss a part!
very very very gd movie... a must-watch!

den aft tt we took cab to eat at simpang bedok to eat seafood n western food whereby bro came over n joined us.
sis n me felt like vomitting cos we ate too much to the point tt we ned to buy somthing sour!

this morning, i made a point to wake up very early...
i was early but i waited for irah at bustop n became late instead!
felt so upset.. like my effort go down the drain.. but nvm la...
den the whole day, back-to-back i keep getting complaint calls... arrrgghhh the moment they call only they start shouting... so irritating! really feel like shouting back but i know i cant.
alot of follow ups to do also.. i hate to bring work back hm but today i hv to! really alot of follow ups! alot of disputes cases.
plus my TL changed today, seem so weird to be asking help fm her...
irah help me call starhub today to enq my points.. haha.. very funny... she so strict!
den went hm with jake, he offered to send me hm by cab, his treat... such a gentleman!
vincy also gentleman, everytime i feel cold if he happens to hear tt he'll offer his jacket.

my batch having the movie get-together thingy for Wars of the world on 29jul
class gathering on 1 july
prob having meal with prev TL also
no money for all these.... but i wanna be part of it... too bad.. too bad..
i hv alot of debts alrdy.. too much! i cant handle alrdy....

ir called me to inform tt he had gold for IPPT.. so happy for him!
so many things affects me... am i taking things too seriously tt it affects me or issit jus PMS??
arrrrggghhhh i hate wat im feeling now!

bad begining.. happy ending...

things dun go as plan!
but it went on fine...
woke up early today.. excited to cook..
soon to find out ard 10+ he still sleeping...
upset.. eventually got really mad when its 12pm n he still at hm...
was so torn apart tt i cried!
he only came ard 1.30pm, i aint in a mood to cook...

when to mcd instead... hahha! get irritated when i had to pay for my own meal..
so we kinda quarrel... went back hm n we're like not talking to each other!
im angry cos of him trashing my mood n he's angry cos he's hungry n i treated him so coldly wen he only gets to spend a day a week wif me... hmmm valid reason!
only when sis ask y am i in our rm, n he was seated outside tt i went out to talk...
still nt ok, so he went out n we solve things under the block...
as per normal, azizan will never give in... haha! N his 'sorry' r always not sincere, haha but its ok... as long as he's sorry... hehe.. naughty me!

we end up cooking fish & chips n eggs together!! haha.. very kecoh!
den we eat like so fast!!!
watched kongfu majong n wild things... haha.. n i fell asleep.. so tired n full! he end up watching the second movie alone... hahaa!
ir's really nice today, he helped wash all the dishes n prepare drinks for me.
later went to TM for mum's fren bday present den we go buy some fd n snacks n go supermarket to buy maggie n hotdogs.
we also get our feet massage at TM foot massage station[FOC]... ahhhhh nice!
when we reach hm, sis went hm at same time. so we cooked 3 pkt with hotdogs n eggs! Ir been a great help n he made drinks n wash the dishes for us again... how sweet!

TGIF!

not working today...
had the time to spend whole day with darling sis!
we were happily sleeping when the construction starts making noise! argh!!
so annoying! nvm, we woke up n happily watched tv at loud volumes!! haha

hehhee... so many pple at Tampines today!
it kinda suprise me!! really really really alot alot alot of people!!
i was wif sis.... i was like, "how comes so many pple today?? its friday rite?"
it felt like Saturday but no, its Friday ard 2pm!!

nvm i aint complaining!!
anyway, it was quite an eye-candy.. hehehe
the ITE boys r so cute, hehhe.. but no! i hv my own man, n love him lots!
n guess we go? NTUC to buy groceries! heh! so unglamourous.. hahha
NTUC TM is undergoing renovations btw.
we spent over $20 jus on food we wanna cook. [plus the sardine ingredients mum ask to buy]
im outta cash... wonders when the pay's coming... *roll eyes*
den at TM, they're having sale on kids stuff!! I LOVE THE BUBBLE GUNS N GADGET!!
im gonna get it soon... oooooo im loving it!! later can play bubbles!! yay!!
sis loves the spiderman sleeping bag, i'll get her one if i still hv cash!!

went hm n we cooked black pepper chicken n rice! yum!
den we fry fish n chicken... yum yum... the ultimate ALA & IZAN special!!
den dad came hm, he cooked eggs... we all ate again!

... dreamy.... 

the babies.... 

My team!! Lily's[seated, with yellow lanyard] team! hehe.. only me n Tommy[second fm left] r in the same team fm my batch.. the rest r all seniors... 

the empty office... wat u expect its 10++pm! 

attention seeker

hahahha... this particular blog i visited seem to incur alot of emotions in me!!
at first, anger n frustration... den sad n sorry... den numbed!
this guy is a definite attention seeker!
his entry makes me sick n look down on him... he obviously does not know his stuff well enough to broadcast such immature statement.
i understand he loves his dogs but he dun hv to be so insultive n prejudice.
pitied him.
hopes someone advise n trigger something in his thoughts n reckless, immature behaviour. Be entertained by his blog, esp the comments by other, but jus bear in mind... there's no 100% truth i wat was said.
my conclusion: "a DEFINITE, DESPERATE ATTENTION GRABBER"
cheers! doesnt affect me at all.... say wat u want cos frankly, he's so immature.
check it out man.... the link:
http://www.upsaid.com/phoenyx/index.php?action=addcom&id=893
** if u guys r unable to read his entry, fm tt page go to [back to main page]
scroll down to entry dated [Wed, 15 june 2005]
den click on [cont to read PIGS they are] for full version!

Wat a long exciting day!!!

today came on time but logged in 3mins late[pc slow]... was told even 1min considered 15mins late...
so.. GREAT!! tt means i alrdy lose 1hrs pay alrdy for now!! but today, i only start work at 9.15am, dun bother to start work earlier cos i wont get paid!! hahaha
nvm... even more reason for me to come early tmr... so thrilling!! hahaha
i felt tt today was a long day!!

haiz, im so tired of handling problematic calls n escalating them, i hv to follow up on alot of things, hate it man, y cant the case be closed?? i still hv bout 3 pendings!!
i dunno if tts unlucky or gd, i seem to be receiving calls diff fm others, nvm at leas i learn more stuffs!! good!

today, cust took up my lunch time by 20mins n break by 8mins.... Damn!!
then i was caught up with a case tt delayed me by bout 20min fm my release time!! argh!!
i quickly rushed down to Hougang mrt to Boon Lay to meet IR.. yay... he's having nights out today!!
At hougang, i bought some otah n rotiboy, den dinner at JP had kfc meal... my treat!! haiz... struggling with finance yet i dun feel a pinch when im meeting him. haiz such a short meeting with him n he has to leave at 9.30pm.... i took a long train ride hm back to tamp!!! haiz.. so tired now.... had to top up ezlink again, always runs out so fast!!!
oh btw, on the train, there's an auntie besides me n starts to converse in mandarin... she ask if i can write in english... of cos i replied i can.
i tot she jus wants me to write something, but she took out a card n wants me to help her write a birthday card in english!! haha... so i help her!!
i dun think she even realised im not chinese!! though i think she might hv notice my so-foreign-chinese. i think i did a gd job, i did ask her for alot of things to help me draft the message, so glad she can understand me. i still rem wat i wrote:

" To Gwee Ai Ling..... How r u? i hope ur doing fine. so sori i been so busy these day, i didnt get u a gift. i really hope u like this card. Happy bday my friend! May ur wishes comes true."
den i told her to sign off. i wrote wat she told me to excpt the part where she ask me write she sori she dunno wats her friend age cos i dun find tt necessary. [i guess] its a lil weird to say happy bday but i duno how old u r!! Its hard cos she herself dunno wat to write, i had to probe her to draft out the msg... somemore she's alightin soon so i was put in a spot, thinking n writing fast! haha
im so happy i DID help her n i wasnt stampering....

so glad Ir appreciates my presence! i took effort coming over to JP...
ooooh gosh!!! i miss him alrdy...
nvm.... Sat i be cooking!! n we'll hv a movie marathon at my place!!
can wait! so excited... hehe...
feeling gd now.. *smiling* tmr so-called my last day cos fri n sat my off days!

*Waiting... they left without me*

waiting.... now so hungry...
laptop in front of me, hp on my rite... hm fone is my left ear, talking to ir...
hand typing... box of strawberry white chocs on my left side....
lying on my stomach down, smiling....
im waiting for sis n mum to cum back, they went to JB w/o me!!
sob sob... they went shopping n eat seafood... nvm, my lovely sis will get somethin for me for sure! loves her!!!

last nite... ir call me ard 2am..
i ans n said... "ok ok... 5 mins k... jus 5 more mins!"
he laugh n say wat 5 mins... i was like huh? later i wake up k... but it was only 2am not even 6am yet... i tot i was supposed to wake up alrdy.. hhahaha

ok they came back!!! seems so nice seh!
they ate alot n shop alot.. they went karaoke-ing, bowling, pool n eat seafood!
den took car home[malaysian car]... wah!!
den i greedily eat n eat.. they bought otah, tom yam soup, fish head curry, a choc cake[for daddy day yest], kuehs, tarts n whole loads of stuff!!!!
i gobble gobble.... k i gtg... need to catch up wif sis n cousins....

Ir's back!!

on Esli's request, i shall write an entry....

oh base on our conversation.... let me make a statement!!!
i never like Batman since i was a kid cos it sounded like Badman n he always in black n so gloomy.. always fighting n dark.. dun like it!!! haha.... bad guys r always ard, the evil penguin n stupid joker!

i woke up this morning irritated by my alarm clock, hp alarm, my dad, n Ir's call... hahaha pple who knows me well knows tt i aint an easy person to wake. haha...
went to work half-hearted.... the only reason im in so much energy is bcos i didnt wanna b late, so i rush2.... being late is wat i do... den rush2, tada!! im aint late!!! i love the energy, the drive, the sense of urgency!! haha...

work has been fine... [stress also!]
the pple r nice n friendly... the customers r not so nice!
some pple r so demanding n unreasonble... cant stand them! lucky im the kind tt lets go easily, if not i b crazy alrdy thinkin of their problems!
i like irah n kak zaiton n jake n farhana alot.. always so approachable! obviously, others r nice too!! wen ur new, u tend to b blur at times... luckily help is ard!!

Ir's back!!! told him i miss everythin bout him! i bought him a new formal shirt, BH 90210, a peach one!! so he can wear for bk-in n bk-out.. glad he likes it! he says its very comfy.. yah its "comfy".....
i meet up wif him. did nothin.. jus went thru his stuff... n azizan goes nagging! "Ir.. how much is this? wat? so ex? ish ish... how bout this? n this?"
basically jus nags tt he spent a lil too much! so nxt trip to Brunei tts it man!
i was amazed at his spending power! omigosh, i influenced him too much, fm a shy guy who doesnt eat out/goes out/ shop alot to wat he is now. Yah yah, my fault!! I know...
but im a good shopper! [every gal is] i go comparing price n see if its worth buying!
lil iza got a white handmade band, 3 t-shirts n a calligraphy tt reads out "Ir [pix of lovebirds] Iza".... cute! i love it... nice!
so we did nothing.. jus went thru the pix.. share some thoughts n stories...
jus like i told him on the fone when he's in taiwan,
"i jus wanna sit n stare at u''
but one thing we always do!! snacking n eating out alot...
next week, i promise.... i cook him fish & chip.... Azizan's special!! n tt we'll watch vcd... jus stay in at hm.

i was jus thinking? when was the last time i jog with him?? tts a long long time.. haiz.. those were the days...
i jus chatted with him on msn.... in a long time![his bunk has a PC] how could we forgot? tts how i get to know the irritating amir hamzah!! hahhaha.. cute days...

let me end this entry with a lil of our phone conversation b4 i rushed to toilet...
Iza: Baby i gtg... i need the toilet...
Ir: Ok... will u be long? call me back k...
Iza: ok ok.. i'll call u back...
Ir: call me back tau... dun forget!
Iza: yes, i will darling.. i really gtg...
Ir: if u dun call me back how? wats if u dun?
Iza: i will la.. dun worry.... i need to go...
Ir: and if u dun?
Iza: i will.. i will.. if i dun... erm.. erm... I WILL k.... byeeee....
ir goes on laughing... n i continue lughing in the toilet
gosh, i miss him lots! still miss him... less than 12hrs seh den he hv to book in again....

Pampered....

im so happy now...
things r going my way... alhamdulillah....

so happy wen i reach hm, it wasnt even 11pm when i left office at 10.30pm..
we all stayed back a lil while cos our team leader's last day wif us!!
i jus came in n 'mummy lily' is leaving alrdy.. sob sob... she abondoned us!! hehe...
i get hm early cos i get a lift fm her, her husband drives us hm... we both stays at tampines!

every single day this week, daddy has also been ferrying me fm hm to workplace at serangoon nth... wahahhahaa... IM SO PAMPERED...

my darling will be back at 4am later...
mum dun allow me to go airport, looks like i hv to meet him tmr instead..
Ir called, he was disappointed i couldnt waited up at airport but i promised him tmr at 8am i be at his doorstep at Hougang!!!!
so excited now.... i dun think i'll sleep...
maybe i go make him a card a wrapped the gift i got for him... excited excited!!! heeee
i wonders wat he bought for me too!

btw, Jo leaving to Japan soon to lead a tour there... so proud of her!
Jo, im gonna miss ya... hehehe...
anyways, the class gathering at glasshouse fish & co on 1st jul... so excited! wonders wat the rest r doin....

Parents...

i feel tt the older i am the closer i am to my parents...
i used to feel neglected cos they dun dote on me...
i used to feel 'different' fm my sis n bro...
but now, i feel okay...

mum starts being nice to me.. she starts giving me the attention i needed long long time ago..[tears in my eyes].. maybe its all a lil too late cos i been feeling so shitty the way im treated all along, but honestly, im thankful to know im still the daughter she had n at least i know she cares bout me!
its hard to put a smile when ur hurting inside, esp if its involves love... i luv my mum no matter wat happen, she gave life to me! no matter how she screw me, hurt me or pained me...
moreover im strong headed n strong in my opinion n i speak up alot... i like to win in every arguement, i only lose to her... only her alone!
one day, i ask her, "mum, do i look like a bad gal to u?"
silence.
silence. yup silence.
i smiled n say, "i know u dun think im bad... but im as strong headed n stubborn as u wat"
still silent.
i know wat she's thinkin. she dun wanna say anythin cos she dun wan me to be big-headed.
i understand. same attutude as me but im calmer, understanding, more patient, more sarcastic n much much stronger.
i also ask her who give her the least prob? who dun ask for much? obviously me...

dad... ahhh my daddy.. love the man though can be irritating at times haha..
still the same man i know!! but he's more sensitive now!
cant blame him, age is catching up on him.
keep hinting on father's day.. cute! oh btw, i bought a levis jean top/jacket for him at $89.50... hope he likes it!! but for his bday on 9 july, not on father's day. maybe treat him dinner...
aiyoh... my head pain... no money alrdy, expenses more than income!
bought specs, haircut, bday presents for dad, widya, shaz, my big red ball!! n etc....
haha... he bought me lingerie.. but ask to sis choose them using his money. wahaha.. ingat pun pat anak die!

as for me... no choice!
im still bold, strong-headed, egoistic, stubborn as usual. haha!
but im nice... dun provoke me!! ur so wrong to do tt... but den again, im a forgiving person, no grudges on anyone. Cheers!
im so happy tt i love my parents n getting better treatment n more attention fm them! FINALLY...
syukur alhamdulilla...
Peace!! *smile*

presenting... Miss Azizan... new look n image! shorter hair... alot alot of layers tt makes it so messy!! n tt nerdy red specs! dun care wat u think but i love it!! heeee..... 

i dun look ME.. so 'fierce' n mature... haha.. ATTITUDE! lol 

Happy!

today, daddy sent me off to work with his Phantom!!
so happy cos tts the only bike i can ride on... [im banned fm taking bikes]
im so addicted to chocs! ish ish
been eating non stop.... starts loving white choc hazeluts pieces n white choc strawberry!
mum been cooking lately.. puts a smile on my face!! hehe

so bored lately..
nothing to do, anticipating for his return....
den i get to be a princess again.... not queen, jus a lil princess.. hehe!
ciao... Sunday, sunday... let it b sunday soon.. pronto!

first weekday off day!

hehe... woke up with a smile... ahhhh an off day! cool...
woke up n went directly to kitchen! FOOD!! yum yum...
mum cooked today!! den there's goreng pisang summore!
n wow wow wow.. wat a plesant suprise!! MY FRIDGE IS LOADED WITH CHOCOLATES!! FINE CHOC!!
i happily stuff myself with the fine indulgence!!

watched tv n laze ard wif sis...
den Ir called... talk for so long i forgot im meeting Widya at 4pm!!! haha
quickly rushed down to City Link where she patiently waited for me...
met Noriza'at O'Brien, got muffins n smoothie for free.. hehe shameless!!!
den meet Sheeda n Dayana, they're on attachment now... wat a pleasant suprise!!
walked ard the newly renovated Marina Square.. not bad!
oh yah, wore my new nerdy red specs jus now... was a lil giddy at the end of day!
the meet-up wif Jo, Ven n YY didnt happen again... sob sob!!

chatted with Din last night... im his idol!! wahahhaha....
so sianz.. tmr work again.. all the way till Sat! give me the motivation plzzz....

ROAR!!! im furious.... hhahaha... love this pic!! ugly but so dramatic! 

Bloody ar...

woah....
by the 3rd call today, i receive problematic customers~! kanasai..
den one by one... i so sui get difficult callers. darnz... jus my damn luck.

was about to let loose ard... BUT!!!...
im an easy person, i will let go a case by u jus need to give me so time to be ok.
wah tt guy ar [the guy who calls me bitch!!] speculate tt i insulted his anchestor!!!!!
so furious when i heard tt.. y not speculate tt u call pple a bitch!
my blood goes up up up!!!!
kanasai!!! bloody chicken!! i merely said 'wah... [his name]so jawa pekat' which means 'thick java[indonesian race] blood' n he bloody said i insulted his anchestors!!!
come on la... ur a guy n u r so sensitive on this... 1st time i encounter such petty guy!
n its so obvious if pple dun say it, pple would think tt way... im bold, i dun lie to ur face... im not a hypocrite. i dun smile at u n stabs u in the back.
with a name like Indriyani Marianto.. who wouldnt ask if ur an Indonesian? TELL ME!!!
haiz... forget it!!! i got no time to pursue on this. I dun gain anythin either. Not worth my time to care bout wats in the past. FINE. i will let it go.... really let it go...
pple can believe wat had be said cos conscience is damn clear. Even when pple ask me, I speak the truth even when i know at certain parts im wrong n i admit n im sorry... I explain both sides, not only in my favour.

tt aside, happy thoughts came shortly after. Another call fm Ir... wow makes me so elated.
den a call fm dad... they're reaching Spore soon n bought me alot of chocs fm the choc factory. wow... yum yum!!

Great Sunday...

i woke up refresh!!even when i slept real late last night..
had a nice chat with CX n Esli.. hehehe...
i woke up n started to clear up a lil bit in my room, now tt sis not ard, i got the motivation to move my butt n clear up!! power up!!

i didnt expect under my bed to hv so many things n so dusty...
i cleared them up n threw everythin!! yup everything!!!
fm clothes to pyjamas to notes to rubbish to even video cam! yah my video cam not working alrdy... i happily threw them away... i even changed my bed sheet to a brand new one n happily threw away the previous one!! hahaha... i jus love to throw alot of things....
my mum cant stand me.. she say i dun sayang things, everythin i threw!
jus clearing up wats under my bed is enough to tire me up... [u hv no idea how dirty it is].. i sweat n sneeze all the time!
den sweep the whole house, does laundry n clean the kitchen... haha so productive!!
later i chill myself with a cup of chilled coke! ahhhhhhh.....

later went out wif mum to Tamp Mall...
to buy new bedsheets n hv lunch n shop ard...
i bought tweety bird bedsheets!!!! love it!! yay!!!
so happy... den window shopping.. so many gorgeous things at Isetan!! so geram...
mum loves this russian diamond n pink diamond ring... so ex... i was thinking of getting it for her if my pay is not delayed!!
den my bro joined us... finally my bro's company! had fun shopping, mum bought a nice turqoise butterfly shoes!! haaha.. she cant resist shoes!! she alrdy got tons now.. more than 20 pairs!!
wow.. we spend alot today.. really alot... i also bought body shop stuffs...
den we ate at fish & co. ... bro's treat... my stomach like wanna burst alrdy!!
till now, i still find it hard to breathe... haha...

daddy n sis keep calling us.. haha like as if overseas calls r not ex! very cute... call me to ask whereabout bejaya times square....

Draggy Saturday

Chatted till last last night, only slept at 3am...
was confused n guilty by someone's confession....
really... is it possible for a guy to be happily attached to his gf now but confessed tt all this while there's also another gal had a special place in his heart? n tt he keeps it all to himself n he will never let tt feeling go... even when he knows him n her r impossible n tt she's happily attached n very much in love with her bf now.....

i found answer to tat. it seem tt such complications do exist.
wat can i say. LOVE IS COMPLICATED. heh..

was woken up by an overseas call fm dad, it seem tt they're having a gd time there.
Happy for darling sis, she seem grumpy when she left!
Woke up thinking, wat a day it is....
i knew its gonna be a laid-back day... a day of doing nothing!!
true enough, i did nothin, was moodless... the house was empty...
i jus raoming ard in my lil house n did nothing!!
so bloody bored... feeling lazy n sucky....
Shaz bday today.. sorry babe i didnt go to ur bbq... blame it on my bloody mood...
feeling frustated whole day seh i dunno y also! *pulls hair*

~~~ Ir & Me ~~~ *at Airport - the send off* 

Feeling Tired n Sucky

Alone.... felt sad....
Ir hadnt called me back, but its ok... i understand...
... i miss my baby....
starting to hate my hair now tt its going wavy... look so weird.. yuckz!
He gonna start making noise when he get back in Spore.. hahaha!

Btw.. yest supposed to have this movie outing with my batch to catch Mr & Mrs Smith at PS. True tt i dun hv cash but i also had mandarin classes on tt night. Later found out class cxl, loashi is sick on mc. I also bought this nerdy red plastic frame specs for $215... I badly need one alrdy, it seems tt my degree had gone higher... Shit! Blame it on the PC at itp n work...
See now no money already!! Sis also bought one [black] n i paid for her.
Bloody broke now! So lucky im not 21 yet!!!

These few days... I been feeling sucky!!
My hormones are driving me crazy... feeling shitty all the time!
Now, i dun even walk anymore... I take bus to everywhere i go... feel so tired nowadays n no mood.. fuck la... hate this feeling, den after supper i cfm fall off to sleep
Everyday::
- woke up for work, bathe, get ready
- have lunch n breaks in betw
- come hm n watch TV all the way
- had dinner and/or supper
- sleep
---=> BORING LIFE!!!!

Anyway today, I started to ans calls on my own.
I screwed up i tell ya...
Dun wanna discuss bout tt... Move on!

Actually today suppose to meet Jo, YuYing n Ven at town for dinner.. i miss them so much!
but i will my sis as well... so i decide to send off dad n sis for their trip to KL.
i will miss my darling sis... love her so much... hopes the days pass quickly...
jus came back hm.. so tired now... bought supper on way back to Tamp.. not hungry but still buys food to eat.. beef horfun as usual!
wats happening?
daddy n sis go on hoilday, mum working n bro works nite shifts n of cos my darling Ir in Taiwan... haiz... Im left all alone!
Tmr is gonna be weird... weird enough tt its usually a day when Ir n me go out on dates..
but nvm, im goin to Shaz's bday party... looking forward to tt tmr's evening!!
i miss my old galfrens!! Miss them all.. hope to see them present...
bro have been MIA for some time now.. i kinda miss him!
he's always not ard each morning i go to his room.. wonders where he went...
Still, no plans for Sun. Hope to spend some time with Mum.. maybe go JB.

I got a confession to make.
I HATE GROWING UP!!!!
everyone so busy now... all busy working n in a relationship!!!
alot of responsibilities alrdy.... haiz.... i hope to go back to the time im 15.
so old now... going 21 soon.. in 4 mths time!

i waited 4 days....

i jus fought with one of my colleague today....
it happened after break...
he didnt wanna let me pass n pisses me off with such attitude n body language...
ya n out of anger, said certain not-so-nice things la... n he openly say tt im a bitch.. haiz...
n its turn out bad! but we settled it after class...
oklah.. case closed! dun wanna think bout it alrdy...
conscience is clear...

oh btw... i cried on my way to the bus-stop... cried instantly... n tears kept rolling!
But no! im not crying because im being a cry-baby after the fight.... i cried becouse of Amir..
but it also doesnt mean im not upset bout wat happened.. of cos i am... cos i feel tt certain things r due to misunderstanding... its true wat pple say, dun assume n never ever judge a book by its cover!
coming back to Amir, i receive 3 missed calls fm a taiwan number.. the +88_________
i felt so sad, anxious and guilty at the same time!
i miss him so much!!!! he hadnt called me in 4 days....
these 4 days... ive been anticipating for tt call n i didnt answer it...
everytime my hp rings, i would rush immediately.. hoping its him....
on Sun (am), when i woke up in tt middle of the night, i stilll found myself crying n i could feel pain in my heart, the heartaches! i was actually having a bad dream... really painful n bad one tt i could still feel the pain...
the dream involves both Amir n me... something bad happened.... i got so scared when i found myself still crying n feeling the pain when i woke up...
n when i slept back again, the same dream continues... in the morning when i woke up again, i still found myself crying n feeling the pain....
this really scares me n worries me n kept me thinking,
"wat was tt about? wat happened to Amir? y hadnt he call me or at least tell me he wont be contacting me in the next few days [which he normally does!]

thankfully... my darling called me today..
we chatted for a long duration.. like as if he's not calling an overseas call...
i actually cried again when he called... dunno if its a relief or happy or maybe both!
den i got angry tt he didnt tell me he alrdy went to jungle the past 4 days when i was anticipating a call fm him!
my baby was telling me wat happen over in Taiwan in detail! wahahha... cute la he!
Taiwan seem interesting, his navigation also sounds fun though he hurt himself as well...
He told me he going to jungle again for 5 days...
at least i can put my mind at rest now tt he tells me in advance...
really.. the suspence is killing me.... no calls-- bad dreams--- not a good combo!

~~ Amir Hamzah & Azizan Photo Gallery ~~

im posting up my past pix of me n my beloved darling...
jus u n me darling....
i miss u so much, been thinkin of u all the time n i know ur think of me too cos he frequently calls back to S'pore.
i appreciate everythin u do for me....
I love u..

for those who's doesnt appreciate, buzz off!
the lady is in love n pining for her guy.....
who ask u to come here anyway?

~~ I LOVE U ~~ 

My sweetheart 

Madagasca show @ taka 

Feasting ourselves  

Azizan 's hungry 

Our fishing rods! 

Cute Ir enjoyin his bread  

Amir pitching up his new tent.. i love it! 

wow

its been quite sometime since i last blog..
some pple say think hadnt been seeing me ard... im still here... jus preoccuppied at the moment!
as some might know... my Darling is away... somewhere in a place called Taiwan!
miss my guy... but being as sweet as he is... he calls me regularly, called me thrice yest n once in the morning today! the rest no need to know la... he calls alot!

today met my dear sis at Far East plaza.. accompany her while she rebond her hair.
she looks good, kinda like it.. cant really stand when her hair 'kembang' like lion! hhahaha
seeing her looking good in new hairstyle, i had the urge to cut my hair too...
but no way am i gonna put my hair in the hands of the hairstylist who does her hair though he really did a good job for sis.. her hair really looks good!
so... i went down to Hair Profile for a haircut... was $33 initially but i got price of $28 for student.. wahahha...
mine was fine... the shampoo smelt good n the head massage was great! had my hair nicely n professionally cut! my hair's a lil shorter now with layers n get my fringe trimmed. Finally! Ya its was nice [to me] n i dun really need any criticism fm anyone... good comments are welcome! :)
i like the way i am but i must say i kinda miss my long hair

ok.. back track a lil...
been disappointed these days... couldnt came in class on time cos STA is too far!
my trainer, Jamilah was nice. Infact, all the trainers are nice! She gave me n Mel a ride[in her car] for lunch as there's no halal food available.

been really tired this week!
last weekends spend alot of time with Amir...
on monday he fetch me fm work den off we go to J8 to catch Monster-in-Law... hilarious movie!
love it! den straight fm there, took a cab to his house where he bathe n gets ready to go to Airport. I felt so paiseh cos his cousins n grandparent n relatives were there at his house n Airport. But being a person who can 'slumber je' i can say i kinda survive tt.. hahaha
Haiz.. miss Ir so much... still rem clearly the day he left at the Airport.. haiz...
his flight leaves at 2.30am n i stayed on till late n had to woke up early for work the next morning...
in 31 mths, tts the 1st time i met his relatives, i only know his immediate family all these while. His gandma kinda nice, she came over to talk to me but i must say his family is the conservative n religious type.. which kinda scare me a lil cos im kinda not really 'alim'.

back to back i was really tired this whole week....
once i get to my bed, i sleep immediately even with tv/radio and/or lights on.
on thur, was so tired i couldnt focus in mandarin class.. my classmate, Taufik[alfro] also said i look so tired. oh btw, tt alfro guy told me he thought im the type tt party alot. Muahaha... i get tt alot fm pple... dun understand y also.. hahaha... tts y they say 'dun judge a book by its cover'... i also told him i got curfew den he said im trying to be anak soleha. Not really true also, i dun really think im tt good. Azizan is a bad girl.. she disturbs pple n gets quite nasty when provoke! Other than tt she's nice.. well not really also... alot more to describe me but i aint got time for tt!