Boring.. boring...

i feel so bored at hm!
the boredoom is not bout being at hm, the boredoom is bout not having any cash!
haiz... i need a job.. i need a job!
everythin needs mandarin speaking or work experiences...
civil servant jobs needs height limit...
a fresh diploma graduate who's a malay n no full-time work experience can rot at home!
BOREDOOM!!

oh yesterday, my sis came hm fm sch..
for the first time she came hm n gave me a shock.
"kakak, im back" voice heard as she opened the door.
"Aaaaaaarrrgggghhhh!" she shierk.
i looked at her blankly. Den she said, "How come u look like me? omg!!"
wahahhahaa.... Stupid gal! she came nearer to me n take a closer look at me.
"have u been using my make-up?"
"yes... Y? i was bored..."
"no wonder la u look like me!! the brown eyebrow pencil, the natural sheer lipgloss, the blusher, the eyeliner.... thats how i usually wear"
i was thinking to myself, i used that kinda stuff too before wat! wat the diff this time?? Hmmm... maybe cos its her different tone of makeup la.. my style is usually more cheery n young, her's is very matured.
Anyway, we're sisters. Of course, we look the same. DUH!

Slap in the face!

“You’re the dumbest, stupidest gal I ever know!”
A very disturbing remark… especially when its from someone you really love.
Yup, Amir Hamzah said that.
Silence.
Az: “If im so dumb n stupid y do u stick with me?”
Am: “Im the cleverest person here so I need a dumb gal. Y would I need a clever, smart gal??”

Ouch! That hurts even more.
Tears jus kept rolling….
It’s worst when more insults are being said after and before those statements.
My heart shattered. Im the “dumbest n stupidest gal he ever know” ???
Those words keep playing on my mind.

Other remarks such as “ I see nothing in you… your knowledge is low, discipline is poor, even your room is messy, my room is much cleaner….”
I shall stop the insults here. Its too painful for me to state more.
Its like im a nut being crushed by a hammer.
I have never regard myself as stupid or dumb. Even if it is so, only when mum says it is considered acceptable. But he gave such a deep impact when he said the dumbest n stupidest gal he ever know.

It all started when I told him I saw some grp of pple with big bags walking from pasir ris to tampines n I knew it was SPA… they’re having their round-island hike ard spore. My true view of it was, ‘Kental ar, its so funny to be like backpacking heavy loads and walking ard spore’
From there, he snapped. He didn’t wanna accept my view that it was kental. He started to be egoistic and start babbling about training n shooting insults at me. I, on the other hand, jus express that he’s jus kental to arguing about this. On and on he goes, insulting me.. saying that NPCC sucks and that he dun see anything benefiting me. I dunno, but that’s really childish.

Am: “You go thru it den you say ar, go carry big bags n walk ard Spore! PPle like you sit at home, got no achievements den wanna say so much”
Am: “Ir dah malas nak layan budak kental mcm iza.. I see nothing in you that NPCC taught you… Poor discipline… “
I tot that was very kental of him. I didn’t wanna join him in those insults. And take note, I never even insult him at all. He was directing everything to me. He really hv no rights to criticise me like that
Az: “I dun have to explain to you what I have learnt and gained from my experiences in NPCC, MLDDS or even in my studies.”

He really pisses me off at this point, I’ve been tolerating his insults fm the start, but now he’s pushing it too far.
Am: “If your stranded on an island, will you survive without the training you get in SPA? If you have only 3 things, which will you choose water, food or knowledge?”
Az: “You really wan me to answer that?? FINE!! Let me give you a very smart ans coming from an smart gal like me! Knowledge of cos!
Am: “wahaha.. knowledge?? Where r you gonna get that from?”
Az: “Fine. I may not have tt knowledge you possess. But let me tell u sumthin, if given tt situation of being stranded on an island, even the dumbest person will figure out how to live on that island. Slowly, he will learn how to work with the nature ard him, he have too, he hv no choice, its his only way of survival.”
Am: “Like I said before, I may not win with words. You will always have sumthin to say”
I thought by myself; ‘That is so true.’

I dunno how it started but the statement later came out of him, the dumbest stupidest gal thingy. Hurts so bad. I ended the call abruptly. I didn’t wanna talk or sms him.
Silence.
Bout 20mins later, he started calling n calling n calling. I didn’t answer any, I dint repond any msgs. Till this point, I think he gave up. All the apologetic messages came in. The ‘sorry’ came too late. I didn’t sleep till ard 3am.. eyes all swollen from the crying.

Hurted, crushed, desolated.
Humiliated.
The pain is felt even till now.
He still calls but I never did answer.
I dunno if I could forgive him.
Love is another thing, my pride, dignity, ego and emotion is another.

I sign off with a self-praise.
“I am not a dumb gal, I considered myself as a smart. Not clever but smart. I have my own achievements that I wouldn’t wanna boast.”

MIA?? im still alive... jus not live n kickin tats all!

Sorry guys… I know i MIA for a long time
Dun worry im fine! Jus slacking ard a home…
Waking up late at 11am den do housework, watch tv, snacking, eating, watch tv again, eat den sleep!! Well.. that’s life.. for now…
So lazy like pig! Kept myself at home for the longest period of time.
I haven’t been goin out to see my friend… haiz…
No money, I dun like to go out…

Oh btw, today was the post ITP briefing at Vanda room.
Omg.. omg!! The swimming pool looks so enciting… omg!
The stadium look so brand new too, brand new tracks!!!
N omigosh! They just build a new gym by the pool.. kanasai! All this transformation when im gone n graduating??
One by one.. they are slowly changing SP’s look…
From the Dover mrt, the side gate flowers, the Convention centre, the Marine Stimulator, the DMC studio, new flat screen PCs, new scanning device, e-printing, e-learning, new image n design of foodcourts, new entrance... everythin renovated!
Nice! Oh yah, new building soon.. I wonder wat it is, its still incomplete!

Oh back to the briefing.. the dialogue session was great…
When Ven start the negativity of her itp company.. BOOM! One by one, pple start pouring all their pain and sufferings that they endured in the past 5mths!
I bet the lecturers wasn’t expecting sumthin like that to happen…
Cool.. the look on almost the lecturers n the Director looks worrying.. haha
Now then they know how much we all put up with all this while!!
I didn’t get a chance to voice out cos no time to go thru all of us but im pretty much contented to have pple discussing how badly abused they are… so I hope, the next batch will have better treatment.

Den at 12pm, our respective supervisors arrive for the lunch reception. I was doing ushering when my supervisor came. Hehe… we all didn’t usher her, Mabel did it. Of cos, we hv to take turns wat!! At the table im seated, im with a lecturer, my 2 other itp frens, my supervisor, n 4 other supervisors from Singapore Discovery Centre. Its funny cos everyone so quiet so I started to talk to the lecturer who sits next to me… Den boom, the ball starts rolling! Oh yeah, pple were talking, interesting n humorous conversation I must say!!
Before that, after the speech, when we were all invited to lunch buffet.. the other 2 gals wasn’t really interacting with my supervisor but the awkwardness is killing me so I have to started talking to her.. well, she’s my supervisor afterall… im supposed to entertain my guest I guess… Its funny cos she seem to be so friendly to me today…

After that meet Amir at Sports Hall.. n omigosh! A new rockwall!! I bet Yaz is happy at this point, he finally gets wat he wanted! Shaz n Wani were there too, they came just to play badminton cos they got nothing to do! I wouldn’t be in sch if I dun hv the briefing!! But then again, im glad I came to sch for the last time!! I really miss sch, frens n lecturers too.. Here, in SP, lecturers are like our fren.. really friends!! We even call them by their name only… Gosh I miss SP! I really hope I get a chance to get to know that lecturer who sits besides me today.. how come he never teaches me at all?? So many lecturers at School of Business, how can I possible know every single one of them anyway…

Den off we go to Orchard n walk ard, then Ven called to say she spotted us walking outside Taka. Hahaha… how to miss a cute couple in pink freshbox t-shirt walking down the street?? Wahaha!!
Den met up at G2000 where YY bought her formal clothes for her job. She got a job at Sheraton Towers as a Catering _______ n its paying really well. [I really dunno her designation but she’s the one incharge of catering events but she’s working office hours n working on her desk kinda thing]. Jo stil continue working at Diners World, good pay too. Ven got a job too, part time. Me? Wahaha… its still a question mark!

**Hyberanating Mode**

Hehe.. ok.... my title says all..

Been sleeping all day all week....

nice sleep in the day but so awake at night

feels kinda like a ________ animal...

[opps! i forgot the word to describe animal that stay wake at night, brain still sleeping now]

n oh! my PC broke down!!! Arrgghh.. *pulls hair*

guess where i am? guess guess.. im in Dover rd, yup SP!! haha

the best place to find cute guys in SP is the main library during exams or study time..

u hv to find them there, they're everywhere.. hehee

but i still wan my Baby..

*wonders if he's still running n training now*

having some prob with mum n dad, i feel like a punching bag to them

argghhhh... watever...

ya im a lazy, lazy, lazy lil brat who's always appears to be 'bad' in their eyes

im always on the bad side when it comes to comparison with ANYBODY in the world!!!

oh! yes.. i remember the word, its nortunal animal.. [wait! did i spell it right?]

hmm... watever la...

sleeping is the best... never had so much time to sleep in 20 years

hmmm... maybe i did had tt sleep wen i was a baby...

im crapping n going nutz...

time to sleep again soon...

****zzzzzzz****

OK guys.. its up!

ok guys.. here goes...
the pix are posted! enjoy...
i dun like the pix though.. my hair colour looks so yellow... yucks!

oh btw, on monday... im so happy i help Amir with his homework
he supposed to do his AOS[Appreciation of Situation] n he's stuck at it till... im ard to help!
muahahha.. someone with no military background can actually help him plan to execute his planning on an attack of enemy. Ok ,u guys many not understand it but its ok...

im jus trying to say tt im good!
wahaha... my geographic knowledge is damn good u know, i still help him where to attack the enemy from which direction, depending on the terrain and location on the map..
i told him... "Ir.. its easy.. jus think.. ur an officer, ur job is to plan.. make a wise decision n ensure safety of ur men.. so ur suppose to lead n come up with a gd plan..."
"if u dun plan properly, u'll die as well as u will be on the grounds executing the plan as well"
see... im good!! hahaha...

I told him, "Ir, i think i can join the Army in planning when n where to attack, which route to take/ not to take... BUT im not going to the Battlefield.. haha.. i jus sit and plan only.. Can or not?"
He gave me a funny look n continue with his work.

Shaz busy studying on train.. 

im busy reading thru my notes... last min! 

... buying hagen dans ice cream... 

Miss Singapore Universe pose! wahaha  

wat happen?? somethin wrong with the drink? 

Jo n Yuying look happy even though they a lil unhappy with the service 

Jo likes to make this kinda faces.. hehe 

Venessa.. she's high... plz bear with her.. haha! 

not bad? this is Ven's cup... i finished mine already then finish her's... wahaha 

yum.... roar... i finish up Jo's coffee eclair too! 

erm.. hmmm.... haiz... no comments 

Jo in confusion... "shd i cut my hair? shd i?" 

Jo's new hairstyle... nice! 

hmm.. now at BK raffles city... 

all together now! 

ahhh.. my new boyfren... im two-timing... haha! 

im hoping.. im hoping... hopefully i get a strike..  

waiting for my turn.... 

** Sisters ** 

ok.. tired.. lets go home... 

we look weird... 

a Sigh of Relief...

ahh.....
my attachment officially ended last Sat!!
On Fri, had lunch treat by Celestine at Sundanese Indonesian Restaurant and dinner treat at Swensen by the company... hehehe
Sunday... i had a hearty dinner, a 12-couse seafood dinner at Simpang bedok
kanasai! my stomach cannot take all the food i consumed...
its expanding n expanding!!

So for now... IM FREE!!
weeeeeee.....
this morning, woke up early n go sch to get my logbook signed.
oh yah, i got a C+ by my supervisor.. everyone had the same grade.. how pathetic!
So of cos, I would complaint to my lecturer..
wahhaa.. i can be a bitch when im mad.. dun make me mad!

its raining so heavily, i felt so sleepy n laze ard...
Ir waited for me at Dover mrt.. it was a lazy morning at ard 10+ that i dun feel like going anywhere...
so Ir suggested watching vcd at his hm....
went to Hougang Mall in search of food.. wow! eat alot... n snack too
den muhahaha.... zzzzz... i fell asleep...
Ir's mum n sis so sweet... they always cook somethin for me to munch2..
today, its nuggets n logans...

den i went all the way to Boon Lay to send him off to camp...
on return trip, sit all the way from Boon Lay to Tampines alone...
wah! luckily Ir borrowed me his MP3, if not i be so bored...