Endless problems

Dad got admitted to CGH again...
Prior to this, his condition had been bad.... he's not eating well or talk much. he's getting weaker by the day. this worries me so much.... yes, got to admit i was very much pressurised by his conditions. Today is his 3rd day, i dunno how long he's gonna stay there but i much prefer him to be there cos he seemed so much healthier n livelier over there.
He's getting more emotional n sensitive by the day... i think it grows with age. One thing i need to really learn is to be tolerant n calm. i have the patience but i think tts not good enough.

I think the paycut im getting is getting too much for me to handle n i got too troubled by it somehow i kinda lost control of myself. I am really blessed to have Ir beside me to calm me down n put me back on track.

There's also alot alot of other unsolved, complicated, pressing issues tt kept troubling my restless mind. Gosh, im still trying hard to keep things under control. So far, i have been handling it well. And i must say, I really got to congratulate myself for that. Sometimes, its nt gd to keep being troubles by on the problem on hand. We shd all learn to handles the situation n control your mind to think of solution n switch ur brain to be a little positive.

Hari Raya is jus ard the corner n so is my birthday. Goodness, time flies!! gonna be 24 soon.... ohhhh pressure... pressure....

~~Love Zann~~

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!

WOW!!!! ITS BEEN A LONG TIME I LAST UPDATE!!!

hmmm.... alot had happened....
but wats life without worry?? without the ups n down....
well lets not talk about the bad stuff....

i gt tix for NDP 2008 all thanks to my sis.
its so cool.... love it this year. the have the awesome air n sea display....

i just got my long awaited Australia trip!!!!
i figured timing fits well as im kinda financial prepared n Yanie's on a break too...
n yeah i get wat i wanna do, travelling ALONE.
i must say, its been a good experience... AWESOME holiday.... busy schedules everyday but i love the pace there... its alot slower.... calmer... not as rushy.... but its chilly... wore 4 layers at first, got a lil used to it n drop to 2 layers of clothing....
highest temperature 14 degrees n lowest at 3!! tts how cold it is.... ohh no... minus 5degrees at mount buller!!
i get to see kangaroo n koala... no time for penguins though!
ok.. i been to Victoria n New SOuth Wales state of Australia!! tts means Melbourne, Ballarat, Mount Buller, Geelong, The Great Ocean Road and Sydney.... awesome awesome!!!

I got a lil sick during my stay there.... fever, cold, cold sore, skin peeling, hydrating n moisture lost!! i didnt get homesick though!!

I went to Tioman island, malaysia with Ir a day after i came back from Australia...
oohhh i love tioman.... nice beaches.... lovely corals....
its so carefree.... its so chill.. i love it!! especially having him with me....
its my first time snorkelling n im loving it... i was amazed at how nice the corals n fishes are swimming past and around me. i was kinda suprised i didnt struggle while snorkelling....

Going back to work after 17 day of leave is so so so draggy!!!


~~Love Zann~~

weather hv been really really hot these days....
so humid tt i cant slp at nights!
its almost 4am n im still awake n gotta get up for work soon....

so stressed up now....
my mind is bottled up with far too many pressing issues
i cant seem to open up to anyone... n its killing me... i jus cant speak up these days, i dunno y
its so pressurising to think of so many things in life... future is so unpredictable!!
i hate growing up.... wish i was still a carefree child...

haiz... work is getting ridiculous....
the traffic is so heavy n work is hectic due to stricter/hightened security measures...
of late, some staff gt terminated due to various reasons
i cant wait for my turn to be posted out bt then again, tt will take years!! so i can continue dreaming about tt day to happen.... haiz...

i really need some sleep now....

~~Love Zann~~

i dun seem to hv time to update n mantain my blog....

considering to close it down :(

~~Love Zann~~

spendrift

so much hv happened...
i bought new hp... the slim sony ericsson w890i!!! love the size n the classic look... very nice brown..
bought alot of random stuffs like bags, tops, shoes, sandals, make-up, nail colours n etc etc... ohhh i dine alot too.... just treated my family for a hearty meal for sis's 18th birthday at a seafood restaurant... gosh really cost me a bomb!!! its a good get-together-gathering, i hadnt seen my aunts n cousins for sometime now, so its all good!
sis better appreciate it!!! i bought her the JLo Live Luxe perfume as a bday present!!

these days been spending alot like nobody's business... i think i spend alot in the supermarkets!!! i love supermarkets.... tt day we went groceries shopping for our food ration at work n it cost us ard $60 n tts jus stuff like chocs, biscuits n instant noodles.. hahha
my own groceries cost alot more, tts a different story altogether!!!

the reason i been spending alot is because of the bonus i get. so i sort of took advantage of it!! thinking about it again, should hv save all tt loads of money for future use like travelling or savings.....
the govt giving us all another gst top-up thingy, i better save up on tt.

~Love Zann~~

short trip... work... cramps...

kinda jus gt back fm a short weekend KL trip...
it was alright. good break fm work. could be better though!!
absolutely love my Brooklyn Suite at Berjaya Times Suites!!!

had a heated arguement with mum at Petaling street in KL, gosh she yelled at me in public!! and im proud to say tt i kept my cool n didnt shouted back.... i jus walked away!! seriously walking away cos im damn pissed at her..... n the best part, sis followed me n defy her orders not to follow me. haha.... she's pissed, really pissed at us. but she made a scene not me.
its like the first time ever, i didnt give in to her like i always do. Sis n me took one own sweet way back to the hotel on our own.... without the parents!!
when they got back to the suite, she was superly nice brought us suppers!! she knows she's in the wrong in the first place.....

im not very satisfied with the new work scheme. argghhhh..... cant be bothered alrdy. im jus contented im earning an income.

had my worst menstrual cramps yest..... gosh! its damn painful.... so much so tt I cried, yest i cried......
it was right after my night shifts ends n i couldnt sleep, keep tossing n turning in bed.... im in cold sweats....
sis was so sweet to bring me water n medicine. awwwww... love u babe!
Ir made it worse for me for his un-caring n un-concerns towards me, tt made me cry much much more!! thank god he made up for it.... love u dear....

im getting lazier by the day.... work really burns me out!!
putting on weight at fast rate.... thanks to all the food indulgence moments for the past 3 days in KL....



~~Love Zann~~

happy

finally.... i had my total relax azizan's off day on friday....
woke up really late tt day.... went for my facial spa n massage, den pedicure n finally a haircut. so tts like.. face, body, feet n head massages!! woahhh so pampering!!!
after tt went to fetch sis fm work n off we go to Expo for metro sale. i kinda dun like sale cos there's no one who really attend to me, "no trying" policy or the queue is too long, plus i'll buy unnecessary stuffs!!!!

ven cldnt make it on sat, make last min plans with fana.
Sunday was the best!! been anticipating the day!!! to meet my baby!!
im so damn happy, i dunno how to describe it. miss him too much. i jus grab n hug him n dun wanna let go...
Sparkie is finally out... changes here n there... nice la. better of cos but i kinda gt scared at the speed it can go....

catch L changes the world yest, we gt free choc!! i tot there wld be some link to the Death note series... the only link is Watari, tt old man. its a nice movie still!! very smart but i so dun want it to end cos we all know tt L gonna die at the end.
we had Breekz! chicken for dinner. i hv to stop dining alrdy... cant seem to afford it alrdy... spending on dining like some rich kids!!

my new hair cut is kinda hard to mantain. urgghh! wat i like is tt, its totally black now!! no more brown ends... im so loving black hair!! :)
ohhhh im kinda pissed tt i had to ballot for my leave in march. but yay!!! its approved.... im so darn lucky!!! KL here i come!!! the last time i went to KL was years ago. i wanna be up tt Eye of Malaysia, screaming on those thrilling rides at berjaya times, staying n realxing on Berjaya times suites hotel, shopping ard like no one's business, indulging on the good food of Malaysia!!!
parents r coming along, which also translates to more spendings n lesser fun. but it doesnt matter, i badly need tt break. a short holiday break.

urgh!! night shifts again tonite.... the cycle never seems to end....

~~Love Zann~~

worries

People ard me r not doing so well n im so upset tt i can do much.
Deepest condolences to Fana n Nazia for the death of their grandma. i hope things r fine. Fana doesnt seem like she's taking it well.
Ven going thru tough times, i really hope she can pull herself thru. Kinda frustrated tt our shifts clashes. Haiz... but im really happy tt im catching up with her this sat.
Zizz is rushing thru his school work cos he lost all his work due to negligence. Poor him. He had to re-do everything in such short time n juggling between work n school. he even suffered a strained neck. catching up with him yest is so good. kinda miss the guy. i'll make a point to make time for him since he's the one who hv lots of commitments now.
Fuzzy is very disappointed with me for not turning up for his gig. He was expecting me to come. I was the only one from work he so-called invite or told abt his gig.... he repeatedly reminded me of it n coincidently, it was the only time where my shifts do not clash. I had the intention to go, but i jus gt stuff to do n i jus dunno who to ask along. i'll have to remind myself tt my goodfren here needs my support. we havent been catching up too. i need to find time to catch up in real time.
i hadnt contacted Yam or San for sometime now. sms a little but tts basically it. i really need time to catch up with pple.
n my dear darling sis..... i miss her.... hanging out together. haiz....

People close to me doesnt seem happy when i told them tt i got back together with Amir... haiz... it worries me alot. a little upseting for awhile, but then again, its a good thing. i knew they meant well. Yes, i made the decision all on my own. i followed my heart.
i didnt exactly consulted anyone about it. im happy with the decision i've made.
i guess they r just worried i might hurt myself again n again.... i really appreciate all tt care n concerns. thanks guys. love u all.... i know... we're talking about my ex, the one who used to hurt me alot alot alot n almost bring me down to insanity.
but i'll be fine. i know wat im doing.

~~Love Zann~~

love is in the air

love love love
amir & azizan
white puma sweater gift fm him
nice!! he's unaware when i snap this
funny look!! hahahz
Earl Swensens at ViVo city... we gt exclusive seats as compared to other couples!!
the yummilicious calamari.... a must-eat item!
crayfish seafood pasta for 2.... its enough for us....
my sizzling apple crumble pie
his banana wrap
ir & iza
reflection
the lovely-dovey us
im tired la baby
night safari.... fun fun fun.... still hadnt had enough!!
hmmmm..... who's tt on the phone?
wats with the face Ir?
at the carpark
i jus wanna fit in the pix... haha... kepo!
iza... ir... in love....
supper at Simpang bedok
amir, azizan, fana, nazia
us at MOS
us again

W-O-W!!!
very very hectic schedule!!!
im so tired, the sofa is where i doze off.... sleep is never enough...

with Ir fetching me with sparkie... i became a lil too pampered....
hehehe.... i need to have less of that...
im too preoccupied with other stuff in life tt i guess i missed out blogging abit about love life.

goshhh... gosh.... GOSH!!! im sooooooo in love with my baby....
i realised tt,(actually i knew all along) no matter wat happens, the only one person tt stays in my heart is him. the one n only reason y moving on is so difficult n getting over it is almost impossible!
love is unconditional. so true!! no matter how much better off in any aspect the next guy is, nothing beats the guy u love most. well, i believe it is!!
i need a guy who loves me wholeheartedly, to manja with, shares my sad n happy moments with, spend my life with.... a guy to pamper me, support n protect me emotionally n physically unconditionally... i dunno how to describe it in words.... i jus love him so so so much
the one im crazy with all the time... no matter wat, no matter how..... even when im in denial...
the one tt i want. fullstop.

though initially i was the one who wanted things to work between us, i think he's the one making most of the efforts..... watever it is, it felt so good.
parents kinda not in the way anymore..... i guess after all we had gone through, they wld hv approve knowing how much we love n fight for each other.

we never did celebrate valentine but since we're both rostered off..... Ir decide to bring me to the Night Safari!! weeeeee~~~~ it was fun!!!
felt kinda lost cos its kinda dark n its my first visit there, so im kinda blur. every little things excites me.... hehehe..... nice! i wld wanna go there again...
prior to tt, we had dinner at Earl Swensen's at ViVo. nice yummy food.

~~Love Zann~~

pix of past trips n events

me, aliff n half of faizal at woodlands nite
christina, yun, faizal, zan, vera, erin
aliff, fana, faizal, yunus n me after 1.5hrs of Uno game!! haha

fana was almost camoflauge in this pix. haha!!

ok... faizal cant be seen here... haha
the gal
r we on a holiday???
illegal immigrants
saz, lela, fana, farhan, zan
my medic, shyamir

ohhhh welcome welcome!!
cycling time!!!
pit stop... tired la....
cute!!!
the nice fall

miss tt good ol ice lolly
nasi ayam penyet time!!!
lela enjoying her food
nice drinks combo!!!
where's lela??

i looovveee this pix
on the 2nd highest level
resting time

top of the Jelutong tower's spiral staircase

~~Love Zann~~