falling sick....

had a bad headache!!! feeling so giddy.. vision blurred

almost collapsed jus now... almost!!!

so i didnt go work today... wed will be my official first day...

doc says its due to tension... again?? haiz.... told him i wasnt pressurised but i really dun wanna argue.... jus wanna go hm... he prescribed me a different drug today... pacofen is no longer safe for me... hahahaha...

told me i need to detox n exercise... wahahahhaaha...

im very sure its nt depression... i jus needed time off... :)

but i do admit tt im rather emotional n disappointed these few days....

my emotions are as erractic as the weather!!! n im trying hard to manage/cover it up...

I realised tt i've neglected myself.... gt no time for myself

i never took care of my personal grooming or time off alone....

so today im gonna take the time to reflect on myself n plan....

i wana go cook, eat, medication, sleep den do some self-reflection... a time on my own

i hate it when i had to reject someone.... over n over again... haiz...

i dunno wat else to say to make the hurting lesser..

the response i get may sometimes affect me in the end... of cos, i feel bad all the time... Some of those still plays in my head... y do most guys like to play the "guilt" factor on me?? all kinds of responses i get...

".....zann, tts a diplomatic reason with a diplomatic answer...."

".... tts the least superficial.... an expected answer fm u.... tc bye...."

".... klah i get it now.... nxt time when ur engage wif someone, do invite me...."

"... i know tt i dun deserve someone like u..... its true wat the say... ur expection r high!"

".... y r u avoiding me?? da action eh skg.... yelah i ni sape?? "

haiz y do pple i hv no attraction to r always coming up to me?? i hate to be the one doing this all the time....

isnt it obvious tt im nt interested if i dun ans call/sms or layan at all? y put me in such difficult situation all the time?? y cant all of u jus chill n leave me alone??

~~Love Zann~~