break down n cry.....

Im feeling terrible now
I dunno wats becoming of me now… I really dun!
I felt so lost, so lonely, so out of place

So many had happened
So many things going ard
Gosh…. Gimme strength… plz….
Im trying my best, my very best to be strong each n every day

I suck in everythin…. Love, family, sports.. everythin…
Im such a failure….
Sometimes I felt lonely…
“wat the heck happened to me??” my life changed so much aft wat happened… its still fresh on my mind….
Im still fighting though… im nt gonna give up….still trying hard… its so freaking hard
Im still scared… I still hold tt fear
Ir n me r on good terms on diff levels, I still look up to him cos to me,he understands me the best.. But I cant be too dependent on him alone, everyone hv a life on their own..
Im trying nt to get other pple involve, one by one, im moving away…. Trying to take matters at my own hands….

I cant seem to get out of this stupid cycle.. I cant seem to move on…
Keep stepping back!!
Cant fight it!! I tried n gave up… many times….
When im abt to overcome it, pressure keeps coming back
I am so tempted to run away…. I really wanna move out!! Its nt “my” hse anyway..
I wana stay in some place I can find peace n quiet, a fun place wld be a bonus!

Im very tired of it, very tired of acussations, any type of assumptions, gossips n rumours,
I hv been honest to pple who bothered to care n ask, I am willing to clarify
Everythin hv its limitations….. im no exception

Im tired of family drama as well….
Im sorry if u think im being rude but Im nt, i mean wat I said cos it’s a fact….
I cant hate u cos I simply cant….. I dun bear grudges cos I believe in forgiving….

Im feeling so guilty of hurting pple ard me.. pple i care about'
i really cant commit to anyone....
y cant anyone understand tt??
urggh stress i building up for me.... let me be free....

Haiz….. life gets tougher by the day!!!
In my quest to find true happiness….. I hope I’ll find peace n the one soon….
Lack of love, care n concerns jus bring damage to your life
I wanna be a princess…. Again….

~~Love Zann~~