Sunshine after the Rain

wow... its been some time i last blog huh??
been busy, actually jus plain lazy!!!

life is jus so full of suprises!!!
i've had my fair share of ups and downs.....
but i think i shouldnt dragged on my 'downs'
its time for me to move towards the brighter side of lifes....
im moving.... slowly..... step by step... baby steps
moods have been good lately....
sorry, i DID previously cut the whole world from me and hide in my crib!!
the girl jus need sometime being alone
i've stayed numb, been on lousy/foul mood, shed too many tears, straightened out my thoughts now......
i will back to my normal self soon.... hopefully
excited to be back!!!

i really dunno wat am i thinking!!!
im nt thinking of the consequences, i'll hv to deal with tt later....
i know i WILL(soon) be in deep SHIT!!
wat matters now is.... my heart need to stop suffering.... its jus something i cant fight, something i cant stop, something tt is naturally there.....

Anyway, been keeping up this super-lazy, super-slack lifestyle for sometime....
been a good girl, doing abit of hsework, staying hm the WHOLE time, watching tv....
yes im 21, but im still very much controlled..... good/bad?? up to individual!!
i dun wanna end up like ''anak metro'' or doing something against my personal pride

like carlo says, "zann is a mummy's gal" haha....
jus to make it clear.... IM NOT ok!!!! infact, im mummy's least fav child!!! lol
i've been independent on my own since i was a child..... i dun get emotional support n nt much of financial support, attention fm my parents. i struggled thru my teenage years with tons of stress weighing on my shoulders!!
*sob sob* i have to work my way thru... be it leisure, education or simply my own clothings n personal possession... so im VERY proud of myself n watever stuff i own or things i spend on now.....
curfews n hsework is jus something tt u cant run away fm this family.... haha.... bro n sis will agree with me on this...... its a mutual understanding in the household rules!!
BUT the funny thing is.... i am allowed to go on overseas trips!!! funny, aint it? tts good enough.... i guess!!

im happy with life the way it is.....
its best to keep expectation low n appreciate every single good gestures!
i wanna be happy :)

PS: will update Valerie's 25th bday pix soon.

Love,
Azizan