wohohohoho.... I SPLEPT THE WHOLE DAY!!!
gosh the next thing i know my sis is back fm sch ard 4pm n bugging me to wake up...
haiz tt irritating lil darling... always disturbing me la...
i woke up, eat , watch tV den sleep again!! this time we both sleep!! den i woke up again n watch tv, snack abit n sleep, den woke up eat dinner n watch TV den supper den now, i cant sleep alrdy....
gosh, i didnt do anythin the whole day excpt eat, sleep n watch TV!!

i wonder if this month is cursed??!! everyone ard me seem to hv problems in r/s or anythin pertaining to love.... ish ish ish... tts really bad
im not having any fights/arguement but i hv always felt upset, disappointed n lonely!! having a bf doesnt feel like having any... maybe im jus overreacting...
honestly, when's the last time we meet? last time we really had a good conversation? last time im really happy n not upset?? wat i really hate are empty promises.... i took ur words seriously even wen its jus "i'll call u back later" n there's never a call....
i understand n respect his role/responsibilty to deal with so many things in camp but y cant there be any room for me?? the reason i called is to hear his voice, know wats he's doing n he find it irritating. true it may be irritating but its all my efforts to show concern... y must i hv a reason to call?? having so much time by myself is not good too!! i get paranoid sometimes!! i hate wat im feeling now.. i hate the r/s im in now... he's fully aware of my pain, my loneliness, my insecurities but "sorry nothing i can do now...."
sometime i wish there is someone out there who really care n brings me out of this misery...
gosh i feel so insecure, abundant, lonely... i feel no one care bout me... no one will ever understand how i feel rite now...
eating n indulging food doesnt help to distress anymore.... been indulging alot but i feel always feel the same..
im such a loser... i dun hv parent who bothers bout me, infact they add pressure on me!!
i dun hv tt much friends, maybe cos i dun socialise tt much... even my bestfriend dun bother n slip off my life... now my boyfriend also didnt really care... my heart sunken... im such a loser....

having to act like everythin's okay n crying silently is so tough....
sleeping is my best option... but its so hard to get myself to sleep... i really hope to wake up smiling feeling good for once!!!