What has $$$ got to do?

Money DO matters ok!!
no matter how u deny it or try to run away fm it!
had a tiff with Ir on this matter today!

i made up my mind.... in a long time!
i gave him too much chances, i been too patient... n he disappoint me too many times!

Call me shallow or money-minded or anything u want!
honestly, in one way or another.. everyone WOULD think of money!
its been 32mths we're together now... he still doesnt plan for future!
it may not be a big issue to him, but it is to me!
he barely have $10 in his acc n still hv debts in hp bills.. tell me, how do i pinned hope like tt?
how dare he said tt i came fm richer family than he is!!!!
how dare he said i had the luxury to hv a good meal on Sundays n travel overseas.
wat has tt got to do with my personal life?
i saved on my own, my parents both work hard on their own and i NEVER took their money. watever i hv now may jus be hundreds tt i saved BY MYSELF!! cos i think of my own future. I PLANNED EVERYTHING IN ADVANCE.
i jus settled my debts also, jus only! but i still hv other responsibilities on my own! i still hv bills to pay, my transport[4 buses a day!], food n i gave my parents money too! Im LEFT WITH NOTHING FOR MYSELF!! I WORK FOR NOTHING!!! do i complaint? HELL NO!!

i believe nothing is IMMPOSSIBLE.
u need to know ur priorities n responsibilities and willing to make adjustments
tt is wat i do all along. u think all these while im living in luxury?
i walked fm Tamp interchange every SINGLE day jus to reduce trpt fare, if not tt be 6 buses a day! i brought my water bottle everyday to reduce my food by a dollar or so!
my mum doesnt cook cos hse work, i had to pay for my OWN breakfast, lunch, dinner n snacks! not to mention clothes, personal stuffs n bills!!!
i saved here and there... jus so i can buy things for u... to make pple ard me feel comfortable n to fulfill my responsibilities!

how dare u said i spent most of ur money!!
ask urself, do i really really spent most of it? i DID paid for u.. i DID paid for myself, how dare u said im the cause ur in a state tt u r right now!
i didnt bloody ask to call n talk to u for hours! who ask u to be so kepo n call all the time! BLOODY HELL!!! now tt ur bills r so high each mth, Y DUN U BLOODY CHANGE TT PRICE PLAN TO A HIGHER ONE???? stupid!! donate hundreds to starhub!
call me the one who lives in luxury?? FUCK U!! do i hv branded stuff with me?? i bloody dun! y? cos i know i cant afford n its not a need to me! u think i dun want? who doesnt? but i dun succumb to my wants! sometimes, u hv to make sacrifices!

its been 32mths, doesnt it trigger u tt its time u think maturely n start saving up for future?? stop giving me empty promises... u can buy ex fishing rods or bike tt cost over $2k or ur army stuff, spent all u might in Taiwan, spent on ur shoes n stuff [despite my constant reminders!]... haiz it all fall on deaf ears. YES! I ADMIT I'M NAGGY BUT I MEANT WELL. u jus wont listen, u SIMPLY WONT LISTEN!
n u dare say, "u think u hv the ability to save up... u can insult me? fuck u!"
HELLO!!! i dun insult u ok! im trying to WAKE U UP!
ur gonna be 21 soon n ur still not thinking maturely... u dare say u hv alot to settle... u think i dun hv ANYTHING TO SETTLE ISSIT??? infact, i hv more things at the back or my head.
FINE! i may not be as 'mature' as u r but at least no matter wat i TRIED my very best to save abit for future! wat have u done? tell me... all this time... my friends ask me out, i didnt go... Y? COS I JOLLY WELL KNOW I WONT HV ENOUGH TO SUPPORT MYSELF LATER!!
stupid! i sacrifies alot k.. ALOT ALOT! n i will never never NEVER RUN AWAY FM MY RESPONSIBILLTIES. i will never disregard my duty as a daughter no matter how tight i am! i will never borrow fm anyone, call it ego or wat, i simply wont.

i NEED u to grow up!! start thinking.. start saving.. at least a bit!
but no! no progress at all. y am i so tight? cos im not as fortunate as most pple r tt their parents hv some savings for them! i bloody pay for my OWN EDUCATION ok! i stayed up cos i earn my own scholarships n sponsorships! i know i dun hv savings so i NEED to start right away.. bit by bit... HOW BOUT U?? ask urself la... i know its hard, who said its easy anyway?
u make me so angry cos of ur reply, ur tone... the way u put ur words n ur assumptions as well as ur insults. i may hv made u angry, but u dun hv to speak vulgarities to me. u dun hv to drift so far n becomes a diff topics. watever i had with my family on Sunday is NON of ur BUSINESS! we worked hard, its OUR RIGHTS TO SPENT ANY WAY WE LIKE! it doesnt mean we're 'RICH'!!!! SHIT U.... I HATE U!!
my life is not as easily as most pple perceive it is! my life's a struggle but i NEVER DID GAVE UP ON MYSELF. if i fall, i will plug up courage n stand up again.
I HATE PPLE WHO LOOK DOWN ON ME!!! get ur facts right before u open ur mouth!
like i said before, u may see me cheery n happily, only I know my own stuggle n worries, U of all pple.. i cant believe it!! I HATE U!!!

my conclusion... love is love.. how long u wanna play this love...
dun u wan to end it with marriage?
y doesnt it matter to u right now? im tired, i keep telling u this!
i dun wanna end up getting married at 30!
plus! i also had to deal with the pressure fm my parents, which parent dun want their child to get married?? n we're like together for almost 3 years now... no savings jus as yet? u must be kidding me!
i lost all hopes now... u disappoint me too much... haiz i dunno

now u dare to challenge me huh? u want me to fetch u, treat u to dinners n movies? u want me to take over ur place? u think im scared??? i will accept tt challenge. i can prove to u i can do it n tt i can still save despite all tt.. BUT watever for? if u cant think maturely.. there's no use pursuing this love tt has no future.. nothing to look forward to.
i gave up....

Yours sincerely,
the broken hearted.....
~Azizan Samsuar~