Confused...

one of my fren Kenneth drop out fm work..
ish ish...haiz... i must stay on... i hv to
i been thru 2 tests alrdy.. more to come
so far the 2 test was okay but i really am not confident of passing the 85%

today i was especially restless... fell asleep in class...
been eating alot alot alot ALOT lately...
i really dunno if its stress or something else... still figuring y...
Ir was sick, he called me.. felt really sorry for him..
i cant do anything... All i can is to be nice n care for him verbally...
poor guy, sick with fever n flu n still not excused for the jungle training!

i fear each day.. there's always impt things to learnt...
all the test coming up... the next one is on Friday
results for the past 2 test is much anticipated!! haiz....
i forgot Widya's bday on 15May05.. im so sorry...
she seem pissed over the phone wen i talk to her jus know but i hope she understand i had too much on my mind...
not having sufficient finance is also killing me....
still need to pay my bills n expenses....
really cant wait for my pay... but im really afraid n nervous to go on-board[start work] which will happen real soon... right after trg ends...
seem so tough... got alot of audits somemore! so scared...

i feel kinda weird these days...
i seem so lost...
i dunno wat im feeling n how im feeling...
spending money seems to make me happy...
buying stuff or food or snacks when i dun need or not hungry.. seem to make me feel satisfied
im going insane...
the guilt of not excercising n not in control of my food intake n money makes me feel STUPID n FOOLISH..
i dunno y im feeling this way...
even though i know it upsets me... i still do nothing but upsets myself further
at hm, i seem happy... cos my sis is always ard to entertain me n keeps me happy...
but i feel so lost deep inside... its been days i talk to anyone about me, about how i feel...
i dun feel like talking anyway....
really feel so weird...
was a different person at work, so quiet n blur n crazy sometimes...
a happy person at home....
but felt different inside... i jus dun feel like ME...