i sux again

ok so i sux again...
i cant be punctual again... today kena lecture again..
today my brain not working tt well too...
i was staring at the comp n fell asleep for awhile.... was woken up by shock when my arm tt support my face shake. haiz...

today, in the meeting i jus let it all out...
she was saying tt we hv proj n stuff but other pple also hv work to do
den i protest n say, "but... we still work at hm wat.. we're still doin projs"
come on la... get a life... y marry urself to ur job?? is it worth it??
some pple jus dunno how to live their life!!! ur not gonna live forever...
better start building ur family... arghh!!

den she bloody said tt we all hv to learn to manage our time!! TIME?? how much time we hv?? we work all the way to mon-sat, n there's still projs to do!!!
n of cos, there's also other things in life like family n frens n bf...
den she still had the cheek to direct it to me n say, "weekends better do ur projs la, dun go partying only"
????????? FUCK!!!!! since when did i go partying?? i never been to club before for god's sake!!
i cant be bothered already.... i know she thinks im tt kinda of gal...
den still can say "u all doin religion proj rite? simple wat u can ask Azizan if u doin on Islam... help each other la... although she can be/looks 'westernized' alrdy"
BITCH!!

today, tried my very best to save but... FUCK.. i blew it again!!
spend alot on my way back..
bought lotsa fattening yummy cookies!! i jus feel like eatin somethin fattening. yest ate butterscotch ice cream n 5 chocolate bars!! Today ate another one!!
den today was happy i went hm at tamp n there's still sun!! den bought bubble tea n 2 papparoti!! its somethin like rotiboy. Coffee n soft bread wif butter in the inside. Came back hm n my bro brought lotsa food!! Fried beef rice.. ate again... den again... n again...

Im under so much depression n anger...
keep gettin angry n frustrated at myself... keep blaming myself....
arrgghhh im uselesss....